I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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