Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
