after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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