you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
