yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
