You can't special order awesome
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
