I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
