I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
