My balls are so social today.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
