You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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