So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Will exercising make me less horny?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
