I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
