dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
