The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Come on in and take your pants off
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