dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
