My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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