I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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