I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
