She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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