Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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