Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize