we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
