I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize