Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
