JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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