And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
