i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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