rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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