if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
