Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
