Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this must be what syphilis tastes like
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
