I cannot find my penis.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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