I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
