She said her name was "party"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
