Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
