no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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