i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
