We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
