Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
