Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
