i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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