I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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