I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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