the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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