I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
