Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
