I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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