He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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