This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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