its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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