Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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