i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
