the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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