he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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