Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
