Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize