Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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