There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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