Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
