And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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