yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
