So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize