Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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