Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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