i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
