i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
