does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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