we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
