i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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