We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize