I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
