fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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