Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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