why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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