butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
