No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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