Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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