D3 body, D1 cock
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
50% drunk capacity currently
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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