In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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